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I don't want to go about offending people, that's not my plan.

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
People
Offending
Plan
Plans

More quotes by Karl Pilkington

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The Web is the new book though, innit?
Karl Pilkington
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If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good
Karl Pilkington
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Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.
Karl Pilkington
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What I mean is, I don't know what I mean.
Karl Pilkington
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You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle.
Karl Pilkington
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It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.
Karl Pilkington
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I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
Karl Pilkington
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I came up with a good idea... see-through skin.
Karl Pilkington
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Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington
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[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
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The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
Karl Pilkington
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But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
Karl Pilkington
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The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
Karl Pilkington
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It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
Karl Pilkington
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I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.
Karl Pilkington
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A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised.
Karl Pilkington
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It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob.
Karl Pilkington
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Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
Karl Pilkington
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As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.
Karl Pilkington
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There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.
Karl Pilkington