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I don't want to go about offending people, that's not my plan.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
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More quotes by Karl Pilkington
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
Karl Pilkington
There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.
Karl Pilkington
Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington
We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species...
Karl Pilkington
When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep.
Karl Pilkington
I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for
Karl Pilkington
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.
Karl Pilkington
I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.
Karl Pilkington
I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.
Karl Pilkington
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.
Karl Pilkington
Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.
Karl Pilkington
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
Karl Pilkington
That impresses me more, inventin' electricity.
Karl Pilkington
It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.
Karl Pilkington
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
Knowledge is almost annoying.
Karl Pilkington
If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things.
Karl Pilkington
I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.
Karl Pilkington
We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.
Karl Pilkington
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
Karl Pilkington