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If you can't do it, don't do it.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
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Cheshire
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
Karl Pilkington
I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it.
Karl Pilkington
If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about.
Karl Pilkington
But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
Karl Pilkington
We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.
Karl Pilkington
The Chichen Itza is just a pyramid with four sides, with stairs on each side leading to some kind of bungalow on the top.
Karl Pilkington
Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.
Karl Pilkington
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
Karl Pilkington
Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!
Karl Pilkington
Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.
Karl Pilkington
The Tudors, I don't even know if I had a family back then.
Karl Pilkington
You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle.
Karl Pilkington
Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.
Karl Pilkington
Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go, that's pretty amazing to say that I've done that or been there.
Karl Pilkington
The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
Karl Pilkington
The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
Karl Pilkington
Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
Karl Pilkington
How would I know which one I was?
Karl Pilkington
