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If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Mines
Mine
Five
Point
Anus
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More quotes by Karl Pilkington
There is no need for ants to have the ability to fly
Karl Pilkington
If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.
Karl Pilkington
I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually.
Karl Pilkington
At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.
Karl Pilkington
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
Karl Pilkington
It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
Karl Pilkington
Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school - constant noise, really.
Karl Pilkington
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.
Karl Pilkington
But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
Karl Pilkington
The Tudors, I don't even know if I had a family back then.
Karl Pilkington
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
Karl Pilkington
We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.
Karl Pilkington
I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
Karl Pilkington
A block of blood should not have the word cake after it...they might as well say shite gateau
Karl Pilkington
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.
Karl Pilkington
I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be, then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, I shouldn't be here!
Karl Pilkington
You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.
Karl Pilkington
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
Karl Pilkington
The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.
Karl Pilkington
There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think.
Karl Pilkington