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If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Anus
Photos
Mines
Mine
Five
Point
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
Karl Pilkington
I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.
Karl Pilkington
That impresses me more, inventin' electricity.
Karl Pilkington
Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.
Karl Pilkington
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.
Karl Pilkington
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.
Karl Pilkington
What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?
Karl Pilkington
Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.
Karl Pilkington
If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.
Karl Pilkington
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
Karl Pilkington
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.
Karl Pilkington
It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
Karl Pilkington
Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
Karl Pilkington
The Web is the new book though, innit?
Karl Pilkington
Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.
Karl Pilkington
The Chichen Itza is just a pyramid with four sides, with stairs on each side leading to some kind of bungalow on the top.
Karl Pilkington
She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?
Karl Pilkington
I'm just sayin', I don't like fun.
Karl Pilkington
I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.
Karl Pilkington
Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
Karl Pilkington
