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If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
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Cheshire
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Mines
Mine
Five
Point
Anus
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
A dog has got human eyes.
Karl Pilkington
Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.
Karl Pilkington
Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
Karl Pilkington
Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
Karl Pilkington
I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
Karl Pilkington
It's like the panda, they say that's dying out. But what do they do? When you see them they're just sitting in the jungle eating.
Karl Pilkington
People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option?
Karl Pilkington
I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
Karl Pilkington
Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.
Karl Pilkington
If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things.
Karl Pilkington
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
Karl Pilkington
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
Karl Pilkington
I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.
Karl Pilkington
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
Karl Pilkington
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think.
Karl Pilkington
Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.
Karl Pilkington
There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.
Karl Pilkington
Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington
At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.
Karl Pilkington
