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I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be, then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, I shouldn't be here!
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
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Cheshire
Something
Rubbish
Good
Shouldn
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More quotes by Karl Pilkington
I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.
Karl Pilkington
How would I know which one I was?
Karl Pilkington
The Chichen Itza is just a pyramid with four sides, with stairs on each side leading to some kind of bungalow on the top.
Karl Pilkington
The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
Karl Pilkington
Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.
Karl Pilkington
A dog has got human eyes.
Karl Pilkington
There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go, that's pretty amazing to say that I've done that or been there.
Karl Pilkington
The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
Karl Pilkington
What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?
Karl Pilkington
This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.
Karl Pilkington
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.
Karl Pilkington
I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
Karl Pilkington
When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep.
Karl Pilkington
Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.
Karl Pilkington
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
Karl Pilkington
The Web is the new book though, innit?
Karl Pilkington
We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.
Karl Pilkington
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
Karl Pilkington
If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good
Karl Pilkington
I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.
Karl Pilkington