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If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Two
Everything
Book
Panic
Done
Scared
Years
Told
Television
Books
Five

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How would I know which one I was?
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It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.
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A dog has got human eyes.
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Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.
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I mean, I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.
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It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.
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I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for
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The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
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[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
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Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
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I came up with a good idea... see-through skin.
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It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob.
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Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school - constant noise, really.
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We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species...
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It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
Karl Pilkington
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If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.
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I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
Karl Pilkington
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But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
Karl Pilkington
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If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about.
Karl Pilkington
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A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised.
Karl Pilkington