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If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Done
Scared
Years
Told
Television
Books
Five
Two
Everything
Book
Panic

More quotes by Karl Pilkington

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How would I know which one I was?
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The Chichen Itza is just a pyramid with four sides, with stairs on each side leading to some kind of bungalow on the top.
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Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.
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It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
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What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that.
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Every problem solved is a problem made.
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People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
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Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
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A block of blood should not have the word cake after it...they might as well say shite gateau
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What I mean is, I don't know what I mean.
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They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.
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I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous.
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It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
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I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.
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Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.
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People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.
Karl Pilkington
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She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?
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I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
Karl Pilkington
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Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years.
Karl Pilkington
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I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.
Karl Pilkington