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If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Two
Everything
Book
Panic
Done
Scared
Years
Told
Television
Books
Five

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With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one.
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The Chichen Itza is just a pyramid with four sides, with stairs on each side leading to some kind of bungalow on the top.
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Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again.
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Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.
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A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised.
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I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
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There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think.
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People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?
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I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually.
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We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.
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Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!
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I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.
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A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.
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From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!
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I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.
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I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.
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And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.
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We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.
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I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for
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Every problem solved is a problem made.
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