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Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
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Ugly
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More quotes by Karl Pilkington
I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
Karl Pilkington
I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for
Karl Pilkington
If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good
Karl Pilkington
The Web is the new book though, innit?
Karl Pilkington
Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.
Karl Pilkington
We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.
Karl Pilkington
I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
Karl Pilkington
The Tudors, I don't even know if I had a family back then.
Karl Pilkington
It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.
Karl Pilkington
Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!
Karl Pilkington
If Camels are the ship of the dessert, this one is the Titanic
Karl Pilkington
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.
Karl Pilkington
Every problem solved is a problem made.
Karl Pilkington
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.
Karl Pilkington
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.
Karl Pilkington
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
Karl Pilkington
It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob.
Karl Pilkington
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.
Karl Pilkington
The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
Karl Pilkington