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We all just want to sit on our ass.

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Ass

More quotes by Karl Pilkington

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I mean, I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.
Karl Pilkington
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Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.
Karl Pilkington
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It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
Karl Pilkington
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The Web is the new book though, innit?
Karl Pilkington
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There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.
Karl Pilkington
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Could the world fall?
Karl Pilkington
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I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
Karl Pilkington
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I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.
Karl Pilkington
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Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.
Karl Pilkington
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Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.
Karl Pilkington
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The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
Karl Pilkington
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Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington
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As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.
Karl Pilkington
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Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.
Karl Pilkington
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Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
Karl Pilkington
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How would I know which one I was?
Karl Pilkington
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The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.
Karl Pilkington
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Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.
Karl Pilkington
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What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?
Karl Pilkington
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And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.
Karl Pilkington