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We all just want to sit on our ass.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Ass
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
I mean, I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.
Karl Pilkington
Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.
Karl Pilkington
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
Karl Pilkington
The Web is the new book though, innit?
Karl Pilkington
There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.
Karl Pilkington
Could the world fall?
Karl Pilkington
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
Karl Pilkington
I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.
Karl Pilkington
Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.
Karl Pilkington
Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.
Karl Pilkington
The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
Karl Pilkington
Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington
As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.
Karl Pilkington
Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.
Karl Pilkington
Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
Karl Pilkington
How would I know which one I was?
Karl Pilkington
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.
Karl Pilkington
Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine.
Karl Pilkington
What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?
Karl Pilkington
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.
Karl Pilkington