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We all just want to sit on our ass.

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Ass

More quotes by Karl Pilkington

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How would I know which one I was?
Karl Pilkington
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[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
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It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
Karl Pilkington
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But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
Karl Pilkington
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I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
Karl Pilkington
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I came up with a good idea... see-through skin.
Karl Pilkington
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We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species...
Karl Pilkington
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Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
Karl Pilkington
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We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.
Karl Pilkington
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It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob.
Karl Pilkington
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Could the world fall?
Karl Pilkington
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By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it.
Karl Pilkington
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Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
Karl Pilkington
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Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.
Karl Pilkington
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Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?
Karl Pilkington
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I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
Karl Pilkington
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I mean, I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.
Karl Pilkington
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The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.
Karl Pilkington
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Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.
Karl Pilkington
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The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
Karl Pilkington