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I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Stupid
Hell
Getting
Hope
Idea
Karl
Ideas
Bloody
Enough
Paying
Bills

More quotes by Karl Pilkington

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I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.
Karl Pilkington
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As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.
Karl Pilkington
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It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob.
Karl Pilkington
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Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
Karl Pilkington
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I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
Karl Pilkington
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Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years.
Karl Pilkington
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I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.
Karl Pilkington
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She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?
Karl Pilkington
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I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
Karl Pilkington
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Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.
Karl Pilkington
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Could the world fall?
Karl Pilkington
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I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.
Karl Pilkington
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You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.
Karl Pilkington
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Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!
Karl Pilkington
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You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad.
Karl Pilkington
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Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
Karl Pilkington
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I'm just sayin', I don't like fun.
Karl Pilkington
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Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.
Karl Pilkington
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Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school - constant noise, really.
Karl Pilkington
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I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be, then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, I shouldn't be here!
Karl Pilkington