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If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Pretty
Good
Life
Bollocks
Wrinkles
Worrying
Worry
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.
Karl Pilkington
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
Karl Pilkington
I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.
Karl Pilkington
I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.
Karl Pilkington
Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
Karl Pilkington
I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
Karl Pilkington
What I mean is, I don't know what I mean.
Karl Pilkington
You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad.
Karl Pilkington
If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about.
Karl Pilkington
I don't want to go about offending people, that's not my plan.
Karl Pilkington
I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.
Karl Pilkington
It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob.
Karl Pilkington
It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
Karl Pilkington
I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it.
Karl Pilkington
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
Karl Pilkington
If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.
Karl Pilkington
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.
Karl Pilkington
The Web is the new book though, innit?
Karl Pilkington
I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be, then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, I shouldn't be here!
Karl Pilkington
The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
Karl Pilkington