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If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Pretty
Good
Life
Bollocks
Wrinkles
Worrying
Worry
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
Karl Pilkington
We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species...
Karl Pilkington
People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option?
Karl Pilkington
Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.
Karl Pilkington
You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.
Karl Pilkington
I'm just sayin', I don't like fun.
Karl Pilkington
Me in a one-man tent crouching over carrier bag. It's not just the lowest point of the trip. It's the lowest point ever. In 38 years.
Karl Pilkington
The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
Karl Pilkington
I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.
Karl Pilkington
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
Karl Pilkington
Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?
Karl Pilkington
There is no need for ants to have the ability to fly
Karl Pilkington
What I mean is, I don't know what I mean.
Karl Pilkington
If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.
Karl Pilkington
I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.
Karl Pilkington
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
Karl Pilkington
I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for
Karl Pilkington
Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
Karl Pilkington
How would I know which one I was?
Karl Pilkington
We all just want to sit on our ass.
Karl Pilkington
