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People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
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More quotes by Karl Pilkington
It is hard eating a little kangaroo knob.
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I don't want to go about offending people, that's not my plan.
Karl Pilkington
But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
Karl Pilkington
I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.
Karl Pilkington
I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.
Karl Pilkington
Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.
Karl Pilkington
There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go, that's pretty amazing to say that I've done that or been there.
Karl Pilkington
What I mean is, I don't know what I mean.
Karl Pilkington
The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
Karl Pilkington
What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?
Karl Pilkington
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
Karl Pilkington
I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous.
Karl Pilkington
Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.
Karl Pilkington
It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
Karl Pilkington
People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option?
Karl Pilkington
Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!
Karl Pilkington
If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good
Karl Pilkington
Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again.
Karl Pilkington
We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.
Karl Pilkington
The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.
Karl Pilkington
