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People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
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Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
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Cheshire
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Good
Kids
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Legs
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Necessarily
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.
Karl Pilkington
Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years.
Karl Pilkington
Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!
Karl Pilkington
The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.
Karl Pilkington
I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be, then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, I shouldn't be here!
Karl Pilkington
The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
Karl Pilkington
Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
Karl Pilkington
She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?
Karl Pilkington
Why is it alright to be going around, going mental with a gun, shooting all the monkeys and killing them? Because one day we're going to run out.
Karl Pilkington
We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.
Karl Pilkington
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.
Karl Pilkington
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
I'm really happy. I just don't choose to show it.
Karl Pilkington
As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.
Karl Pilkington
The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
Karl Pilkington
What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?
Karl Pilkington
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
Karl Pilkington
Could the world fall?
Karl Pilkington
If you can't do it, don't do it.
Karl Pilkington