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People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
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Cheshire
People
Wells
Well
Legs
Take
Necessarily
Mean
Changing
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Doesn
Good
Kids
Would
Change
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Doe

More quotes by Karl Pilkington

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I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.
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Knowledge is almost annoying.
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The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.
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Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years.
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I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it.
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What I mean is, I don't know what I mean.
Karl Pilkington
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Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.
Karl Pilkington
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I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
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[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
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Me in a one-man tent crouching over carrier bag. It's not just the lowest point of the trip. It's the lowest point ever. In 38 years.
Karl Pilkington
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Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
Karl Pilkington
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There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go, that's pretty amazing to say that I've done that or been there.
Karl Pilkington
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We all just want to sit on our ass.
Karl Pilkington
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The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
Karl Pilkington
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I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.
Karl Pilkington
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If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
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They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.
Karl Pilkington
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People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
Karl Pilkington
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People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?
Karl Pilkington
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Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington