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People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
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Television Personality
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Cheshire
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More quotes by Karl Pilkington
I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.
Karl Pilkington
Knowledge is almost annoying.
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The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.
Karl Pilkington
Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years.
Karl Pilkington
I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it.
Karl Pilkington
What I mean is, I don't know what I mean.
Karl Pilkington
Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.
Karl Pilkington
I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
Karl Pilkington
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
Me in a one-man tent crouching over carrier bag. It's not just the lowest point of the trip. It's the lowest point ever. In 38 years.
Karl Pilkington
Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
Karl Pilkington
There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go, that's pretty amazing to say that I've done that or been there.
Karl Pilkington
We all just want to sit on our ass.
Karl Pilkington
The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
Karl Pilkington
I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.
Karl Pilkington
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.
Karl Pilkington
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
Karl Pilkington
People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?
Karl Pilkington
Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington