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How would I know which one I was?

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Would

More quotes by Karl Pilkington

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What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?
Karl Pilkington
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People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
Karl Pilkington
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It's just hassle of having friends and family an' that.
Karl Pilkington
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The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.
Karl Pilkington
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Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.
Karl Pilkington
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[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
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The Chichen Itza is just a pyramid with four sides, with stairs on each side leading to some kind of bungalow on the top.
Karl Pilkington
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I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for
Karl Pilkington
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I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
Karl Pilkington
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If you’re worrying about the wrinkles on your bollocks I’d say your life’s pretty good
Karl Pilkington
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Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
Karl Pilkington
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Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.
Karl Pilkington
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This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.
Karl Pilkington
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Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
Karl Pilkington
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From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!
Karl Pilkington
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Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face.
Karl Pilkington
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I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.
Karl Pilkington
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The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
Karl Pilkington
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A dog has got human eyes.
Karl Pilkington
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It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
Karl Pilkington