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The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Gone
Funny
Today
Look
Looks
Elephant
Never
Elephants
Would
Gotten
Men
Hair
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.
Karl Pilkington
Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
Karl Pilkington
You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad.
Karl Pilkington
The Chichen Itza is just a pyramid with four sides, with stairs on each side leading to some kind of bungalow on the top.
Karl Pilkington
People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option?
Karl Pilkington
I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
Karl Pilkington
A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.
Karl Pilkington
Knowledge is almost annoying.
Karl Pilkington
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
Karl Pilkington
I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for
Karl Pilkington
Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years.
Karl Pilkington
At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.
Karl Pilkington
The cafe was called Tattoos. The fella who owned it didn't have any tattoos... but we never saw his wife.
Karl Pilkington
I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be, then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, I shouldn't be here!
Karl Pilkington
Happiness is like a cake: have too much of it and you get sick of it.
Karl Pilkington
When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep.
Karl Pilkington
I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.
Karl Pilkington
What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?
Karl Pilkington
Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington
We all just want to sit on our ass.
Karl Pilkington
