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The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Men
Hair
Gone
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Today
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Elephant
Never
Elephants
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More quotes by Karl Pilkington
I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.
Karl Pilkington
Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
Karl Pilkington
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.
Karl Pilkington
Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again.
Karl Pilkington
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
Karl Pilkington
If you can't do it, don't do it.
Karl Pilkington
Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.
Karl Pilkington
Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!
Karl Pilkington
Every problem solved is a problem made.
Karl Pilkington
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
Karl Pilkington
Now sometimes I don't know if I feel well. Because I've been in my body for years.
Karl Pilkington
As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.
Karl Pilkington
Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.
Karl Pilkington
What I mean is, I don't know what I mean.
Karl Pilkington
It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.
Karl Pilkington
Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.
Karl Pilkington
I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
Karl Pilkington
A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.
Karl Pilkington
I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.
Karl Pilkington
