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Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Make
Carpentry
Good
Giraffe
Ladder
Ladders
Evolution
Build
Didn
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.
Karl Pilkington
We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species...
Karl Pilkington
I'm just sayin', I don't like fun.
Karl Pilkington
We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.
Karl Pilkington
I'm really happy. I just don't choose to show it.
Karl Pilkington
I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.
Karl Pilkington
I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.
Karl Pilkington
I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
Karl Pilkington
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
Karl Pilkington
I mean, I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.
Karl Pilkington
I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it.
Karl Pilkington
A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.
Karl Pilkington
Be the ugly one, look at the nice one.
Karl Pilkington
Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.
Karl Pilkington
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
Karl Pilkington
From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!
Karl Pilkington
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.
Karl Pilkington
A problem solved is a problem caused.
Karl Pilkington
