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Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Ladder
Ladders
Evolution
Build
Didn
Make
Good
Carpentry
Giraffe
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about.
Karl Pilkington
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think.
Karl Pilkington
How would I know which one I was?
Karl Pilkington
Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
Karl Pilkington
Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again.
Karl Pilkington
The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.
Karl Pilkington
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
Karl Pilkington
We all just want to sit on our ass.
Karl Pilkington
I came up with a good idea... see-through skin.
Karl Pilkington
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
Karl Pilkington
If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.
Karl Pilkington
Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.
Karl Pilkington
A block of blood should not have the word cake after it...they might as well say shite gateau
Karl Pilkington
But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
Karl Pilkington
Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.
Karl Pilkington
Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school - constant noise, really.
Karl Pilkington
Me in a one-man tent crouching over carrier bag. It's not just the lowest point of the trip. It's the lowest point ever. In 38 years.
Karl Pilkington
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
Karl Pilkington
I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
Karl Pilkington
