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Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Evolution
Build
Didn
Make
Good
Carpentry
Giraffe
Ladder
Ladders

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She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?
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The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
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There is someone for everyone, i'nt there. That's always my thing. And it's reassuring I think.
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I'm just sayin', I don't like fun.
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But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
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Normally you can't hear you're own voice because you're talking over it.
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They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.
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I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
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Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again.
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Every problem solved is a problem made.
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A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised.
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You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.
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This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.
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I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
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There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.
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It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
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We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.
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People say if bees die out, the world would end apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document and people believe this.
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The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
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Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
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