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She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
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Television Personality
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More quotes by Karl Pilkington
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually.
Karl Pilkington
By 78 you've done everything you're going to do. If you haven't bungee-jumped by the time you're 78 you're not going to do it.
Karl Pilkington
They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.
Karl Pilkington
I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.
Karl Pilkington
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
Karl Pilkington
Every problem solved is a problem made.
Karl Pilkington
The Tudors, I don't even know if I had a family back then.
Karl Pilkington
Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight.
Karl Pilkington
The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
Karl Pilkington
A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised.
Karl Pilkington
People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?
Karl Pilkington
I don't really like surprises. Not big ones anyway. Just having a pack of Revels holds enough of a surprise for me.
Karl Pilkington
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
Karl Pilkington
I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.
Karl Pilkington
Knowledge is almost annoying.
Karl Pilkington
Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face.
Karl Pilkington
I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.
Karl Pilkington
Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good.
Karl Pilkington
Cat food. It stinks a bit, but if you don't put up with the smell, the little kitten will die.
Karl Pilkington
