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She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
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Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
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Cheshire
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More quotes by Karl Pilkington
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
Karl Pilkington
I'm really happy. I just don't choose to show it.
Karl Pilkington
The reason there are so many gyms in London is because the amount of gay people who are here now.
Karl Pilkington
I find that if you just talk, your mouth comes up with stuff.
Karl Pilkington
A block of blood should not have the word cake after it...they might as well say shite gateau
Karl Pilkington
We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.
Karl Pilkington
A dog has got human eyes.
Karl Pilkington
I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.
Karl Pilkington
From someone whose dad buys him a spade for Christmas, I thought you'd be grateful!
Karl Pilkington
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
Karl Pilkington
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
Karl Pilkington
I mean, I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.
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There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.
Karl Pilkington
I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous.
Karl Pilkington
There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go, that's pretty amazing to say that I've done that or been there.
Karl Pilkington
Knowledge is almost annoying.
Karl Pilkington
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep.
Karl Pilkington
The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone.
Karl Pilkington
I don't want to go about offending people, that's not my plan.
Karl Pilkington
