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She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Problems
Protected
Chimp
Cases
Covered
Chimps
Told
Idiot
Bitten
Worst
Dirty
Annoy
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Population
Scenario
Every
Including
Idiots
Case
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Gave
Annoying
Jabs
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.
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If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.
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For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see.
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It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
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I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs.
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What I mean is, I don't know what I mean.
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Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.
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We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.
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Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.
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I mean, I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling.
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I'm more open to give things a go, but what I'm not good at yet is holding back. If something is daft or rubbish, I just go, I can't be doing it.
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I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
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A single vision is more perfect than a committee vision because with everyone having their say, it becomes compromised.
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With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one.
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If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things.
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They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.
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A dog has got human eyes.
Karl Pilkington
As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.
Karl Pilkington
The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
Karl Pilkington
