Quote

She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Dirty
Annoy
Worst
Population
Scenario
Problem
Including
Idiots
Every
Case
Scenarios
Gave
Annoying
Jabs
Problems
Protected
Chimp
Covered
Chimps
Cases
Idiot
Bitten
Told

More quotes by Karl Pilkington

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Everywhere we walked we got plenty of attention due to the camera and sound men. The locals love to get on camera. [...] I'd seen footage of Gandhi surrounded like this and always thought it was because he was very popular, but now I wonder if it was just because he had a camera crew with him.
Karl Pilkington
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I never buy a piece of art. I don't see the point in buying something because I know my eyes will get bored of it eventually.
Karl Pilkington
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I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.
Karl Pilkington
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I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
Karl Pilkington
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They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.
Karl Pilkington
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The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.
Karl Pilkington
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[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
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I am pessimistic, I think that's the best way to be, because if you're always expecting the best - the best doesn't always happen. Nine times out of 10 it doesn't. I'm surprised when things go smoothly. I don't know what's wrong with being pessimistic - unless you are such a pessimist that you don't do anything.
Karl Pilkington
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You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that.
Karl Pilkington
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A problem solved is a problem caused.
Karl Pilkington
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Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face.
Karl Pilkington
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Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.
Karl Pilkington
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I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
Karl Pilkington
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People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.
Karl Pilkington
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When i was younger i remember once i went to bed and i was so happy that i laughed myself to sleep.
Karl Pilkington
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This is the problem with over-crowded inner-city schools there aren't enough parts for everyone in the nativity story.
Karl Pilkington
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Knowledge is almost annoying.
Karl Pilkington
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I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.
Karl Pilkington
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Well...like, when you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again.
Karl Pilkington
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I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.
Karl Pilkington