Quote

She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?

Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Worst
Dirty
Annoy
Problem
Population
Scenario
Every
Including
Idiots
Case
Scenarios
Gave
Annoying
Jabs
Problems
Protected
Chimp
Cases
Covered
Chimps
Told
Idiot
Bitten

More quotes by Karl Pilkington

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People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?
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They do it in Thai restaurants in London. You ask for a drink, and it comes in a glass with loads of seaweed and pebbles in it like a scene from Finding Nemo.
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Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?
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I know when I was a kid I ate a beetle. I ate a beetle because I thought it was licorice.
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People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.
Karl Pilkington
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I've heard that fact, that is you eat more than six bananas it will kill you. I saw a bowl with seven bananas in it and I thought, that's dangerous.
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Every problem solved is a problem made.
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Why is it alright to be going around, going mental with a gun, shooting all the monkeys and killing them? Because one day we're going to run out.
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The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
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I've been on the planet for 40 years now, and I'm still none the wiser as to what it's all about really. I've never worried about life's big questions. People at my age sit about pondering, 'Why are we here?' The only time I ever asked myself that is when Suzanne booked us a surprise holiday to Lanzarote.
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As long as you're remembering baby Jesus, does it matter when you're remembering him. That's what I'm saying about Christmas, I might not be in the mood for it December 25th.
Karl Pilkington
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You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad.
Karl Pilkington
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What happens if someone else has my eyes, and they start looking at stuff I don't like? I don't like the idea of that.
Karl Pilkington
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With identical twins, you always get a little snidey one.
Karl Pilkington
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I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
Karl Pilkington
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I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.
Karl Pilkington
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I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
Karl Pilkington
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It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it.
Karl Pilkington
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If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
Karl Pilkington
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If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things.
Karl Pilkington