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A block of blood should not have the word cake after it...they might as well say shite gateau
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Well
Shite
Cake
Block
Blood
Word
Wells
Might
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
The great pyramid is overrated. It's a bad design. The lounge is going to be huge, but the bedroom is going to be tiny.
Karl Pilkington
It's interesting to see that people had so much clutter even thousands of years ago. The only way to get rid of it all was to bury it, and then some archaeologist went and dug it all up.
Karl Pilkington
I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
Karl Pilkington
Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that.
Karl Pilkington
A problem solved is a problem caused.
Karl Pilkington
A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.
Karl Pilkington
I know who I am. Bloody hell, I'm getting enough bills for Karl Pilkington so I hope I am him, 'cos if I'm not, I have no idea who I'm paying for
Karl Pilkington
At some point, some insect has had sex with a leaf.
Karl Pilkington
If you don't sleep you get run down. Sloths never get a flu, cos its good innit thats when your body's replemishing.
Karl Pilkington
We came from the sea originally, now we're going back in it. Don't go in it, unless you're in a boat.
Karl Pilkington
It's weird how me and that insect are miles apart in terms of lifestyle, yet we both like a biscuit.
Karl Pilkington
Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
Karl Pilkington
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.
Karl Pilkington
Apparently you're not allowed to lick a toad's back.
Karl Pilkington
You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle.
Karl Pilkington
People say having kids is life changing, well that doesn't necessarily mean a good thing, does it? I could take one of my legs off. That would change my life.
Karl Pilkington
The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money.
Karl Pilkington
There’s fish in here that I’ve read about that are so see-through that they’re invisible. So I don’t even think they know they exist.
Karl Pilkington
I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse
Karl Pilkington
I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.
Karl Pilkington