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[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.
Karl Pilkington
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Karl Pilkington
Age: 51
Born: 1972
Born: September 23
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Radio Personality
Television Actor
Television Personality
Television Presenter
Writer
Sale
Cheshire
Funny
Another
Give
Giving
Jellyfish
Much
Useful
Something
Environmental
Make
Ocean
Water
More quotes by Karl Pilkington
The Web is the new book though, innit?
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I don’t understand why people take pictures of mimes. Everyone looks like a mime in a picture.
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I think people would live a bit longer if they didn't know how old they were. Age puts restrictions on things.
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Classes teaching you how to breathe. I'm 32, I think I've got the hang of it.
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I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.
Karl Pilkington
I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there.
Karl Pilkington
Fishing: I don't really like it. I don't really like the expression on the fish's face.
Karl Pilkington
Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage!
Karl Pilkington
I'm a bit rubbish at knowing when something is good. But if it goes out and I can say, I wasn't as bad as I thought I would be, then I'll be happy. Until then, I'll be thinking, I shouldn't be here!
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The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’
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What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?
Karl Pilkington
Well I'm trying to think what I put in... I think I put in 'why?' to see if I'd confuse the computer.
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If you had five photos of anuses, I could not point mine out.
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People moan about drugs being tested on animals. I sort of think it depends innit. If the drug's aspirin and the monkey's got a headache, is it right?
Karl Pilkington
If you don't have a plan, you can end up doing some interesting things.
Karl Pilkington
I'm just sayin', I don't like fun.
Karl Pilkington
She gave me the jabs and said I was covered for every worst-case scenario, including being bitten by a dirty chimp. I told her this is why we have over-population problems. Why are idiots who annoy dirty chimps being protected?
Karl Pilkington
You never get an angry man suddenly breaking into a whistle.
Karl Pilkington
I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
Karl Pilkington
There was always something. It's like with this one, there's always something that's mad that I look back on it and go, that's pretty amazing to say that I've done that or been there.
Karl Pilkington