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A guy wanted the vet to cut his dog's tail off. The vet asked why. Well, my mother in law is visiting next month and I want to eliminate any possible indication that she is welcome.

Karel Capek

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Karel Capek
Age: 48 †
Born: 1890
Born: January 9
Died: 1938
Died: December 25
Director
Journalist
Novelist
Philosopher
Photographer
Playwright
Science Fiction Writer
Translator
Writer
Bombay
Karel Capek
Guy
Month
Law
Welcome
Next
Dog
Vets
Mother
Asked
Tail
Wanted
Cutting
Indication
Wells
Months
Visiting
Well
Humor
Eliminate
Possible
Tails

More quotes by Karel Capek

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It was a great thing to be a human being. It was something tremendous. Suddenly I'm conscious of a million sensations buzzing in me like bees in a hive. Gentlemen, it was a great thing.
Karel Capek
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Nothing is stranger to man than his own image.
Karel Capek
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I've found a place that would amaze you. People used to live there, but now it's all overgrown and no one goes there. Absolutely no one - only me... Just a little house and a garden. And two dogs.
Karel Capek
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Robots do not hold on to life. They can't. They have nothing to hold on with - no soul, no instinct. Grass has more will to live than they do.
Karel Capek
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There came into the world an unlimited abundance of everything people need. But people need everything except unlimited abundance.
Karel Capek
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All the year round there is spring, all through life is youth there is always something which may flower.
Karel Capek
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Dumb dog. I bought a dog whistle. He won't use it.
Karel Capek
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Be these people either Conservatives or Socialists, Yellows or Reds, the most important thing is - and that is the point I want to stress - that all of them are right in the plain and moral sense of the word.
Karel Capek
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It suddenly occurred to me that every move on the chessboard is old and has been played by somebody at some time. Maybe our own history has been played out by somebody at some time, and we just move our pieces about in the same moves to strike in the same way as people have always done.
Karel Capek
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It's not possible to search for God using the methods of a detective... There is no way. You can only wait till God's axe severs your roots: then you will understand that you are here only through a miracle, and you will remain fixed forever in wonderment and equilibrium.
Karel Capek
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You can have a revolution wherever you like, except in a government office even were the world to come to an end, you'd have to destroy the universe first and then government offices.
Karel Capek
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You never realize a dog is a man's best friend until you start betting on horses.
Karel Capek
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Relativism is neither a method of fighting, nor a method of creating, for both of these are uncompromising and at times even ruthless rather, it is a method of cognition.
Karel Capek
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I certainly don't know if you could claim that every theft is wrong, but I'll prove to you that every theft is forbidden, by simply locking you up.
Karel Capek
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Man will never be enslaved by machinery if the man tending the machine be paid enough.
Karel Capek
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As is well known, all collectors are prepared to steal or murder if it is a question of getting another piece for their collection but this does not lower their moral character in the least.
Karel Capek
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My dear Miss Glory, Robots are not people. They are mechanically more perfect than we are, they have an astounding intellectual capacity, but they have no soul.
Karel Capek
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The English gentleman is a combination of silence, courtesy, dignity, sport, newspapers and honesty.
Karel Capek
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You ought to know that October is the first Spring month.
Karel Capek
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Everyone has the best of feelings towards mankind in general, but not towards the individual man. We'll kill men, but we want to save mankind. And that isn't right, your Reverence. The world will be an evil place as long as people don't believe in other people.
Karel Capek