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Sex, on the whole, was meant to be short, nasty and brutish. If what you want is cuddling, you should buy a puppy.

Julie Burchill

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Julie Burchill
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: July 3
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Frenchay
Gloucestershire
Sex
Short
Whole
Brutish
Cuddling
Puppy
Nasty
Meant

More quotes by Julie Burchill

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It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly.
Julie Burchill
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Monarchists frequently declare that without the royal family, Britain would be 'nothing.' What a woeful lack of love for one's country such statements express.
Julie Burchill
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It shouldn't come as any surprise that those who choose acting as a profession are phonies who live in a fantasy world. What is surprising is how many of them are blissfully unaware of it.
Julie Burchill
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Contrasting British servicemen and women with the appeasers, it is hard not to laugh. Are these two sides even the same species, let alone the same nationality? On one hand the selflessness and internationalism of the soldiers on the other the Whites-First isolationism of the protesters. Excuse me, who are the idealists here?
Julie Burchill
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Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to commit...
Julie Burchill
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I didn't cry when I left free-booting, smash-and-grab papers that would have appeared to be far more natural homes for me and, at the risk of being vulgar, paid far better for my services.
Julie Burchill
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Blakes Hotel in South Kensington was a particular favourite of mine during what I affectionately think of as my Restless Years.
Julie Burchill
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I jest, of course premature ejaculation isn't a laughing matter for anyone, except for your friends when you tell them about it on the phone the next morning. My first marriage ended because the main event was invariably over before my husband got his socks off.
Julie Burchill
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As a child, I wanted only two things - to be left alone to read my library books, and to get away from my provincial hometown and go to London to be a writer. And I always knew that when I got there, I wanted to make loads of money.
Julie Burchill
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Is the raggle-taggle Brangelina tribe any more bogus than that of the landlocked yummy mummy who believes that she can drop half a dozen brats and still keep a modest carbon footprint? I don't think so.
Julie Burchill
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'Stress' was the catch-all every pamper-pedlar I spoke to used to explain why healthy women feel the need to be regularly patted, petted and preened into a state of babyish beatification.
Julie Burchill
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If you want sex, have an affair. If you want a relationship, buy a dog.
Julie Burchill
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The Feminist Me says that a woman's right to her own body should be inviolate at all times, free from fear of peeping paps.
Julie Burchill
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Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable.
Julie Burchill
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Women, more often than not, do things which aren't remotely relaxing but are all about preening, which is just another sort of work.
Julie Burchill
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A wedding is a funeral which masquerades as a feast. And the greater the pageantry, the deeper the savagery.
Julie Burchill
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I feel even less patience with transsexuals.
Julie Burchill
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Prostitution is the supreme triumph of capitalism. When the sex war is won prostitutes should be shot as collaborators for their terrible betrayal of all women, for the moral tarring and feathering they give indigenous women who have had the bad luck to live in what they make their humping ground.
Julie Burchill
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Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.
Julie Burchill
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It must be said that Brighton, unlike London, makes driving seem very appealing. Instead of glowering faces and angry horns on all sides, we have the coast road in front of us and the Sussex Downs just 10 minutes behind us.
Julie Burchill