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Sex, on the whole, was meant to be short, nasty and brutish. If what you want is cuddling, you should buy a puppy.
Julie Burchill
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Julie Burchill
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: July 3
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Frenchay
Gloucestershire
Brutish
Cuddling
Puppy
Nasty
Meant
Sex
Short
Whole
More quotes by Julie Burchill
Women, more often than not, do things which aren't remotely relaxing but are all about preening, which is just another sort of work.
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The latest twist on the pampering concept is spa parties, where a group of friends take over an entire spa.
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Amsterdam has more than 150 canals and 1,250 bridges, but it never seems crowded, nor bent and bitter from fleecing the tourist.
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It shouldn't come as any surprise that those who choose acting as a profession are phonies who live in a fantasy world. What is surprising is how many of them are blissfully unaware of it.
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Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to commit...
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A woman who looks like a girl and thinks like a man is the best sort, the most enjoyable to be and the most pleasurable to have and to hold.
Julie Burchill
It must be said that Brighton, unlike London, makes driving seem very appealing. Instead of glowering faces and angry horns on all sides, we have the coast road in front of us and the Sussex Downs just 10 minutes behind us.
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In my third husband I had discovered a blissfully laid-back type who thought it nothing less than hilarious when I misread the map on the way to Wales, so it took us an extra three hours, or when I was sick in a plastic carrier bag during much of the drive back from Devon - a bag that turned out to have a hole in it.
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Graham Greene famously said that all writers need a chip of ice in their heart Cusk can come across as the most beautiful ice palace of stalactites and stalagmites, and some people find her company, albeit by proxy, about as inviting as a long weekend in a walk-in frigidaire.
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Some say that Cusk has no sense of humour, but expecting giggles from this writer would be akin to expecting sonnets from Benny Hill.
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The allegedly 'classy' magazines often seem to be in an endless, undeclared competition to see who can climb furthest up the fundament of Gwyneth Paltrow or Jennifer Lopez.
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Whenever I am sent a new book on the lively arts, the first thing I do is look for myself in the index.
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As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I never converted to Catholicism, happily, but I did do one thing he did. That is, in middle age I moved to a seaside town and got into a right barney with the local powers-that-be.
Julie Burchill
It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly.
Julie Burchill
Show me a frigid woman and, nine times out of ten, I'll show you a little man.
Julie Burchill
Is the raggle-taggle Brangelina tribe any more bogus than that of the landlocked yummy mummy who believes that she can drop half a dozen brats and still keep a modest carbon footprint? I don't think so.
Julie Burchill
I have experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from men, but I have also experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from women, usually when I failed to respond to their advances.
Julie Burchill
The Feminist Me says that a woman's right to her own body should be inviolate at all times, free from fear of peeping paps.
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And call me a pig, but isn't it brilliantly refreshing how early the Dutch eat dinner? When they're still laying out the cutlery in achingly hip Barcelona, they're hanging the Closed sign on the restaurant doors of old Amsterdam.
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Contrasting British servicemen and women with the appeasers, it is hard not to laugh. Are these two sides even the same species, let alone the same nationality? On one hand the selflessness and internationalism of the soldiers on the other the Whites-First isolationism of the protesters. Excuse me, who are the idealists here?
Julie Burchill