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If you want sex, have an affair. If you want a relationship, buy a dog.

Julie Burchill

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Julie Burchill
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: July 3
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Frenchay
Gloucestershire
Dog
Sex
Relationship
Affair

More quotes by Julie Burchill

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Writing is more than anything a compulsion, like some people wash their hands thirty times a day for fear of awful consequences if they do not. It pays a whole lot better than this type of compulsion, but it is no more heroic.
Julie Burchill
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I don't have a spiritual bone in my body but what I am, is religious.
Julie Burchill
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Contrasting British servicemen and women with the appeasers, it is hard not to laugh. Are these two sides even the same species, let alone the same nationality? On one hand the selflessness and internationalism of the soldiers on the other the Whites-First isolationism of the protesters. Excuse me, who are the idealists here?
Julie Burchill
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I have always voted Labour and I always will. I have got to have one stupid, bovine part of me and that's the part that votes Labour.
Julie Burchill
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When a man wants to relax, he will slob out and really relax. Or he will pursue a hobby - anything from building models to watching sport.
Julie Burchill
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It must be said that Brighton, unlike London, makes driving seem very appealing. Instead of glowering faces and angry horns on all sides, we have the coast road in front of us and the Sussex Downs just 10 minutes behind us.
Julie Burchill
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I feel even less patience with transsexuals.
Julie Burchill
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But just think what a boring, bread-and-milk world this would be without the boastful.
Julie Burchill
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My favourite spectator sport is watching people who should know better searching for something, and often claiming to find it, where it never could be. Women claiming to find feminism in Islam is a good one.
Julie Burchill
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Some say that Cusk has no sense of humour, but expecting giggles from this writer would be akin to expecting sonnets from Benny Hill.
Julie Burchill
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Covering up, so far as I can see, is often the accompaniment to far more truly shameful behaviour than stripping off.
Julie Burchill
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'Stress' was the catch-all every pamper-pedlar I spoke to used to explain why healthy women feel the need to be regularly patted, petted and preened into a state of babyish beatification.
Julie Burchill
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Is the raggle-taggle Brangelina tribe any more bogus than that of the landlocked yummy mummy who believes that she can drop half a dozen brats and still keep a modest carbon footprint? I don't think so.
Julie Burchill
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I didn't cry when I left free-booting, smash-and-grab papers that would have appeared to be far more natural homes for me and, at the risk of being vulgar, paid far better for my services.
Julie Burchill
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Blakes Hotel in South Kensington was a particular favourite of mine during what I affectionately think of as my Restless Years.
Julie Burchill
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A woman who looks like a girl and thinks like a man is the best sort, the most enjoyable to be and the most pleasurable to have and to hold.
Julie Burchill
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Only those who haven't got the wit to speak for themselves would ever want their clothes to do it for them.
Julie Burchill
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Being a monarchist, and fawning over those 'above' you, you must naturally despise those 'below' or on the same socioeconomic level as yourself, because that is how hierarchy worship works.
Julie Burchill
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Graham Greene famously said that all writers need a chip of ice in their heart Cusk can come across as the most beautiful ice palace of stalactites and stalagmites, and some people find her company, albeit by proxy, about as inviting as a long weekend in a walk-in frigidaire.
Julie Burchill
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Fame is no sanctuary from the passing of youth... suicide is much easier and more acceptable in Hollywood than growing old gracefully.
Julie Burchill