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As a kid, I grew to define what I didn't want my life to be like by sitting behind moaning women on the bus, hearing them bang on about their aches and pains, both real and imagined.

Julie Burchill

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Julie Burchill
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: July 3
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Frenchay
Gloucestershire
Like
Behind
Pains
Grew
Ache
Pain
Bus
Didn
Imagined
Kids
Define
Aches
Women
Hearing
Moaning
Real
Sitting
Bang
Life
Behinds
Bangs

More quotes by Julie Burchill

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Contrasting British servicemen and women with the appeasers, it is hard not to laugh. Are these two sides even the same species, let alone the same nationality? On one hand the selflessness and internationalism of the soldiers on the other the Whites-First isolationism of the protesters. Excuse me, who are the idealists here?
Julie Burchill
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Is the raggle-taggle Brangelina tribe any more bogus than that of the landlocked yummy mummy who believes that she can drop half a dozen brats and still keep a modest carbon footprint? I don't think so.
Julie Burchill
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The latest twist on the pampering concept is spa parties, where a group of friends take over an entire spa.
Julie Burchill
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Graham Greene famously said that all writers need a chip of ice in their heart Cusk can come across as the most beautiful ice palace of stalactites and stalagmites, and some people find her company, albeit by proxy, about as inviting as a long weekend in a walk-in frigidaire.
Julie Burchill
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It must be said that Brighton, unlike London, makes driving seem very appealing. Instead of glowering faces and angry horns on all sides, we have the coast road in front of us and the Sussex Downs just 10 minutes behind us.
Julie Burchill
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A wedding is a funeral which masquerades as a feast. And the greater the pageantry, the deeper the savagery.
Julie Burchill
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I have experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from men, but I have also experienced jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and violence from women, usually when I failed to respond to their advances.
Julie Burchill
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The allegedly 'classy' magazines often seem to be in an endless, undeclared competition to see who can climb furthest up the fundament of Gwyneth Paltrow or Jennifer Lopez.
Julie Burchill
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Whenever I am sent a new book on the lively arts, the first thing I do is look for myself in the index.
Julie Burchill
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It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly.
Julie Burchill
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Only those who haven't got the wit to speak for themselves would ever want their clothes to do it for them.
Julie Burchill
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Nicole Kidman in particular seems to bring out the butt-kisser in the sassiest of hackettes, as they ceaselessly strive to portray her as some sort of cross between Mother Teresa and Marilyn Monroe.
Julie Burchill
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When a man wants to relax, he will slob out and really relax. Or he will pursue a hobby - anything from building models to watching sport.
Julie Burchill
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Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.
Julie Burchill
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My favourite spectator sport is watching people who should know better searching for something, and often claiming to find it, where it never could be. Women claiming to find feminism in Islam is a good one.
Julie Burchill
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As a precocious teen I dreamed of being Graham Greene. Well, as it turned out, I never wrote a great novel, sadly, and I never converted to Catholicism, happily, but I did do one thing he did. That is, in middle age I moved to a seaside town and got into a right barney with the local powers-that-be.
Julie Burchill
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I don't have a spiritual bone in my body but what I am, is religious.
Julie Burchill
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The pictures from the first professional photo session that the young David Beckham submitted himself to are extraordinary. He has a barely suppressed smile, as though he and the cameraman are complicit in the understanding that this is not yet David Beckham we see and that there is an element of deceit in selling the photographs as such
Julie Burchill
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'Stress' was the catch-all every pamper-pedlar I spoke to used to explain why healthy women feel the need to be regularly patted, petted and preened into a state of babyish beatification.
Julie Burchill
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I feel even less patience with transsexuals.
Julie Burchill