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Blakes Hotel in South Kensington was a particular favourite of mine during what I affectionately think of as my Restless Years.

Julie Burchill

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Julie Burchill
Age: 65
Born: 1959
Born: July 3
Journalist
Novelist
Writer
Frenchay
Gloucestershire
Mines
Mine
South
Kensington
Particular
Affectionately
Years
Blake
Think
Restless
Thinking
Favourite
Hotel

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When a man wants to relax, he will slob out and really relax. Or he will pursue a hobby - anything from building models to watching sport.
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'Stress' was the catch-all every pamper-pedlar I spoke to used to explain why healthy women feel the need to be regularly patted, petted and preened into a state of babyish beatification.
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As a kid, I grew to define what I didn't want my life to be like by sitting behind moaning women on the bus, hearing them bang on about their aches and pains, both real and imagined.
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As a child, I wanted only two things - to be left alone to read my library books, and to get away from my provincial hometown and go to London to be a writer. And I always knew that when I got there, I wanted to make loads of money.
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Is the raggle-taggle Brangelina tribe any more bogus than that of the landlocked yummy mummy who believes that she can drop half a dozen brats and still keep a modest carbon footprint? I don't think so.
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I don't have a spiritual bone in my body but what I am, is religious.
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Presley sounded like Jayne Mansfield looked - blowsy and loud and low.
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The latest twist on the pampering concept is spa parties, where a group of friends take over an entire spa.
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The Feminist Me says that a woman's right to her own body should be inviolate at all times, free from fear of peeping paps.
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Contrasting British servicemen and women with the appeasers, it is hard not to laugh. Are these two sides even the same species, let alone the same nationality? On one hand the selflessness and internationalism of the soldiers on the other the Whites-First isolationism of the protesters. Excuse me, who are the idealists here?
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Lots of women love to accuse men of being immature when the fellow in question displays a reluctance to commit...
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It's received wisdom that the English are uniquely child-unfriendly.
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Surely being a Professional Beauty - let alone an ageing one - is one of the most insecure and doomed careers imaginable.
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Covering up, so far as I can see, is often the accompaniment to far more truly shameful behaviour than stripping off.
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Only those who haven't got the wit to speak for themselves would ever want their clothes to do it for them.
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The pictures from the first professional photo session that the young David Beckham submitted himself to are extraordinary. He has a barely suppressed smile, as though he and the cameraman are complicit in the understanding that this is not yet David Beckham we see and that there is an element of deceit in selling the photographs as such
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Here in Barcelona, it's the architects who built the buildings that made the city iconic who are the objects of admiration - not a bunch of half-witted monarchs.
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May I just single out for salutations, on the anti-war side: Pop Stars For Appeasement, Dancers Against Democracy, Actors For Apathy, Fashionistas For Fascism and Jugglers For Genocide. All of them united under that flaccid flag of convenience, Show-Offs For Saddam.
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In my third husband I had discovered a blissfully laid-back type who thought it nothing less than hilarious when I misread the map on the way to Wales, so it took us an extra three hours, or when I was sick in a plastic carrier bag during much of the drive back from Devon - a bag that turned out to have a hole in it.
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