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Yeah, I loved her. I couldn't help it. She was my brother.
Julie Anne Peters
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Julie Anne Peters
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: January 16
Author
Engineer
Writer
Jamestown
New York
Brother
Loved
Help
Helping
Yeah
Couldn
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Like anyone cared where I was, or who I was.
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Me? I had no dreams. No longings. Dreams only set you up for disappointment. Plus, you had to have a life to have dreams of a better life.
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The truth remains. I was, and am, disgusted with myself.
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People don't change. There are two kinds of people in the world: winners and losers. Black and white. I don't know where gray fits in, or if you can even live in that shade.
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But you'd sell your soul for it, wouldn't you? For one day of feeling beautiful.
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My mother read that parents should spend quality time with their children. One way is to sign up for organized activities together. This month we're taking meditation to free the mind. Last month it was Rolfing. Have you ever Rolfed, Tone? Only after the school's shepherd's pie, I said.
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It was her way of saying, You should kill yourself.
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Our eyes met across the crowded room, like in the movies, except we didn't share a knowing smile and race into each other's arms. Instead I fell into the trash can.
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I wish I could tell my parents, If you want to help me, help me die.
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Everyone's a liar. Everyone I've ever known.
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I just want the pain to end.
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I don't have alot of people to talk to. Not alot of people are worth my time.
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I had to fight so hard not to cry.
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I want to tell them, Chip, Kim, there is no way to suicide-proof a person.
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They didn't guarantee you'd come out a whole person.
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I didn't tell him. And I never told her the whole truth. What would it matter? There was nothing she could do nothing anyone can do or will do.
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I know it's hard on her. If I don't tell her she'll kill me. He pauses. That was supposed to be funny.
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Do what, Kim? Lead a normal life? Too late. Way too late.
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I hated him. I hated them all. They made me hate myself even more than I already did.
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What can happen in a few minutes changes you forever.
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