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Why are people so cruel? What did I ever do to them?

Julie Anne Peters

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Julie Anne Peters
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: January 16
Author
Engineer
Writer
Jamestown
New York
Cruel
Ever
People

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Like anyone cared where I was, or who I was.
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Everyone's a liar. Everyone I've ever known.
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But you'd sell your soul for it, wouldn't you? For one day of feeling beautiful.
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The truth remains. I was, and am, disgusted with myself.
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I didn't tell him. And I never told her the whole truth. What would it matter? There was nothing she could do nothing anyone can do or will do.
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Yet, when we talked, when we were together, she seemed so familiar. Seemed to know who I was, where I was coming from. She knew me better than I knew myself, I think. She was easy to be with. And I wanted to be with her, like all the time.
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What can happen in a few minutes changes you forever.
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It was all about hate. There should be laws. We're there laws? Can you legislate against hatred?
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She responds by kissing me harder and longer and deeper. She loves me too. She's just afraid.
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I suppose I'll be remembered as dull. Timid. No one ever knew me. People came. They went. I was kind, I think. Not sympathetic, but considerate of others. I always gave up my place in line. I loaned out pencils and paper, or let people take them from me. I never reported a sexual assault.
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His invitation lingers. So does my question. Why me? I don't know the answer. When I look at myself in the mirror, all I see is a starving, stunted bird who never grew wings and lost all reason to sing.
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I want to tell them, Chip, Kim, there is no way to suicide-proof a person.
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As they were carting him off on a gurney, all I could think was, I wish that was me.
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Cut the ending. Revise the script. The man of her dreams is a girl.
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I don't sleep. All night long I'm wide awake, thinking, Secrets, secrets, secrets. There are secrets in my past no one needs to know. Secrets in my present that might kill Kim and Chip. I don't want to take my secrets with me when I go. When I pass through the light, i want to be free of everything and everyone.
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Yeah, I hear the truth. But this is my truth.
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What you see, isn't always what you get
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I don't have to answer. Until you know the question.
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Take it as a token. Because tomorrow when I go, I want you to believe friends are possible.
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No one else knows I'm alive, which means they won't notice when I'm gone.
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