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The challenge of manners is not so much to be nice to someone whose favor and/or person you covet (although more people need to be reminded of that necessity than one would suppose) as to be exposed to the bad manners of others without imitating them.

Judith Martin

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Judith Martin
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: September 13
Economist
Journalist
Washington
District of Columbia
Without
Challenge
Reminded
Need
Whose
Favor
Needs
Challenges
Exposed
Much
Nice
Necessity
Would
Others
Manners
People
Someone
Favors
Persons
Suppose
Covet
Person
Although
Imitating

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A lot of men got upset at the feminist movement because they had all the toys and we wanted some.
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The way one was brought up isn't an excuse for rude behavior.
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You should resolve not to seek public approval of your private business, when you are not also prepared to accept public disapproval.
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We are born charming fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.
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Nowadays people consider it a disgrace to admit that they are not stressed.
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Honesty is a virtue, but not the only one. If you're in a courtroom you need the whole truth and nothing but the truth in the living room, sometimes you need anything but. Often.
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Washington knows that it is not safe to kick people who are down until you find out what their next stop will be.
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The etiquette business has its emergencies, heaven knows, but it is in the nature of etiquette emergencies that once one realizes what one has done, it is too late. One might as well get a good night's sleep and send flowers with an apology in the morning.
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Nobody believes that the man who says, 'Look, lady, you wanted equality,' to explain why he won't give up his seat to a pregnant woman carrying three grocery bags, a briefcase, and a toddler is seized with the symbolism of idealism.
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It's far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
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It doesn't matter whether the bride or the bridegroom writes the letters of thanks for wedding presents provided that these go out immediately after the arrival of each present and are not in the handwriting of the bride's mother.
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It is one of Miss Manners's great discoveries that one needn't contradict others in order to set them straight.
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We are all entitled to our little harmless habits, but we are not entitled to demand approval for them.
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The more skillful the performance of false cheer, the more pleasing the effect is upon one's public and on that private audience to whom one owes even more.
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It is said that dispensing advice is easy. What is difficult is getting anyone to listen to it.
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Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people's wishes.
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Only a person who considers himself too good for you is good enough.
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One should not be assigned one's identity in society by the job slot one happens to fill. If we truly believe in the dignity of labor, any task can be performed with equal pride because none can demean the basic dignity of a human being.
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The etiquette question that troubles so many fastidious people New Year's Day is: How am I ever going to face those people again?
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Chaperons, even in their days of glory, were almost never able to enforce morality what they did was to force immorality to be discreet. This is no small contribution.
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