Quote

The etiquette of intimacy is very different from the etiquette of formality, but manners are not just something to show off to the outside world. If you offend the head waiter, you can always go to another restaurant. If you offend the person you live with, it's very cumbersome to switch to a different family.

Judith Martin

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Judith Martin
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: September 13
Economist
Journalist
Washington
District of Columbia
Person
Manners
Formality
Live
Outside
Waiter
Different
Head
Offend
Something
Show
Etiquette
Always
Family
Switch
World
Shows
Restaurant
Another
Intimacy
Persons
Restaurants
Cumbersome

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Visiting the sick is supposed to exhibit such great virtue that there are some people determined to do it whether the sick like it or not. ... All visitors everywhere are supposed to make plans to depart if they observe their hosts visibly wilting or in pain, but this is especially true at hospitals.
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When you consider how epidemic boredom is in our time, you have to concede that entertaining is a healing art.
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Nowadays people consider it a disgrace to admit that they are not stressed.
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One should not be assigned one's identity in society by the job slot one happens to fill. If we truly believe in the dignity of labor, any task can be performed with equal pride because none can demean the basic dignity of a human being.
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Indeed, Miss Manners has come to believe that the basic political division in this country is not between liberals and conservatives but between those who believe that they should have a say in the love lives of strangers and those who do not.
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If written directions alone would suffice, libraries wouldn't need to have the rest of the universities attached.
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Parents should conduct their arguments in quiet, respectful tones, but in a foreign language. You'd be surprised what an inducement that is to the education of children.
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Washington knows that it is not safe to kick people who are down until you find out what their next stop will be.
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Etiquette enables you to resolve conflict without just trading insults. Without etiquette, the irritations in modern life are so abrasive that you see people turning to the law to regulate everyday behavior. This frightens me it's a major inroad on our basic freedoms.
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Honesty has come to mean the privilege of insulting you to your face without expecting redress.
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The challenge of manners is not so much to be nice to someone whose favor and/or person you covet (although more people need to be reminded of that necessity than one would suppose) as to be exposed to the bad manners of others without imitating them.
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The way one was brought up isn't an excuse for rude behavior.
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You do not have to do everything disagreeable that you have a right to do
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You should resolve not to seek public approval of your private business, when you are not also prepared to accept public disapproval.
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