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You should resolve not to seek public approval of your private business, when you are not also prepared to accept public disapproval.

Judith Martin

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Judith Martin
Age: 86
Born: 1938
Born: September 13
Economist
Journalist
Washington
District of Columbia
Women
Private
Seek
Prepared
Accept
Accepting
Public
Disapproval
Business
Approval
Also
Resolve

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You do not have to do everything disagreeable that you have a right to do
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Most people who work at home find they do not have the benefit of receptionists who serve as personal guards
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We are born charming fresh and spontaneous and must be civilized before we are fit to participate in society.
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What you have when everyone wears the same playclothes for all occasions, is addressed by nickname, expected to participate in Show And Tell, and bullied out of any desire form privacy, is not democracy it is kindergarten.
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Learn graceful ways of saying no and of pointing out that this pressure to do something is not in line with most people's wishes.
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When politeness is used to show up other people, it is reclassified as rudeness. Thus it is technically impossible to be too polite.
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A general rule of etiquette is that one apologizes for the unfortunate occurrence, but the unthinkable is unmentionable.
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We are all entitled to our little harmless habits, but we are not entitled to demand approval for them.
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It is one of Miss Manners's great discoveries that one needn't contradict others in order to set them straight.
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The only way to enjoy the fun of catching people behaving disgustingly is to have children. One has to keep having them, however, because it is incorrect to correct grown people, even if you have grown them yourself.
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Indeed, Miss Manners has come to believe that the basic political division in this country is not between liberals and conservatives but between those who believe that they should have a say in the love lives of strangers and those who do not.
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The challenge of manners is not so much to be nice to someone whose favor and/or person you covet (although more people need to be reminded of that necessity than one would suppose) as to be exposed to the bad manners of others without imitating them.
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Chaperons, even in their days of glory, were almost never able to enforce morality what they did was to force immorality to be discreet. This is no small contribution.
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Washington knows that it is not safe to kick people who are down until you find out what their next stop will be.
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Like language, a code of manners can be used with more or less skill, for laudable or for evil purposes, to express a great variety of ideas and emotions. In itself, it carries no moral value, but ignorance in use of this tool is not a sign of virtue.
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The whole country wants civility. Why don't we have it? It doesn't cost anything. No federal funding, no legislation is involved. One answer is the unwillingness to restrain oneself. Everybody wants other people to be polite to them, but they want the freedom of not having to be polite to others.
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A wedding invitation is sent by people who have been saying, Do we have to ask them? to people whose first response is, How much do you think we have to spend on them?
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The stress of making small talk with in-laws is called being part of a family.
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The more skillful the performance of false cheer, the more pleasing the effect is upon one's public and on that private audience to whom one owes even more.
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The etiquette question that troubles so many fastidious people New Year's Day is: How am I ever going to face those people again?
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