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I know that asshole you were with in college --” “Can we leave that asshole out of it?” Please, gentlemen, one asshole at a time.

Josh Lanyon

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Josh Lanyon
Please
College
Leave
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Asshole
Gentlemen
Gentleman

More quotes by Josh Lanyon

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He was probably selfish in the sack. Probably selfish and greedy and...unsophisticated. And hung like a horse.
Josh Lanyon
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...Jake, a homosexual cop buried so deep in the closet he didn't know where to look for himself.
Josh Lanyon
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I'm not insane. This is very simple, very straightforward. Provided he doesn't kill me, its foolproof.
Josh Lanyon
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One thing I’ve noticed about getting older, it takes twice as much work to get half the results one formerly achieved by falling out of bed.
Josh Lanyon
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Kit, you're forty. You look thirty. You act...well, never mind. You're carrying on like you think you're seventy
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Not as intolerable as being dead, in my opinion, but I'm very fond of me. I would miss me a lot.
Josh Lanyon
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I dug out the powder blue cashmere cardigan my mother Lisa gave me the Christmas before last, pulled on my oldest, softest Levi’s. Comfort clothes the next best thing to a hug from a warm, living body. Lately there had been a shortage of hugs in my life. Lately there had been a shortage of warm, living bodies.
Josh Lanyon
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He needed fresh air and sunshine. A walk in the woods and afterward a good book to read by the fire. Yeah, that was the life.
Josh Lanyon
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Have I ever told you, you look like Monty Clift? he inquired in a deep, seductive voice. Before or after the accident?
Josh Lanyon
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Focus on someone else’s problems for a change, I instructed myself. You need the practice. From now on you’ll have to live in a world you didn’t make up. Horrible thought.
Josh Lanyon
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The battle rages eternal, though the race, religion, gender or sexual orientation of those discriminated against changes regularly. Maybe man’s need for a scapegoat is genetically programmed into him.
Josh Lanyon
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He scooped up Victoria practically before she hit the ground, well within the five-second rule. If she'd been a potato chip, he could have still eaten her. Not something I particularly wanted to contemplate.
Josh Lanyon
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I thought of the words of the Renaissance philosopher Michel de Montaigne. If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
Josh Lanyon
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The only thing worse than opera is someone who hums along with opera.
Josh Lanyon
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Drink your coffee -- people in Africa are sleeping.
Josh Lanyon
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How did people get over this? They obviously did. Every day someone fell in love with the wrong person and had to pack up all their fragile, misguided hopes and unwanted affection, and move on to the next picnic table.
Josh Lanyon
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I'm a thirty-something gay man with a dodgy heart. I sell books for a living. Who wants to read about that?
Josh Lanyon
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I noticed you right away. She gave me an approving look. I like quiet, polite men. And men who wear Hugo Boss. I was hoping you weren't gay. Or that you were only half-gay. Like Paul. Uh...sorry, I said. It's pretty much full-time now. The pay's not great, but the perks...
Josh Lanyon
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Rachel delivered it like an official pronouncement. Like she was one of the fairies gifting Sleeping Beauty's christening: Beauty. Intelligence. Heterosexual.
Josh Lanyon
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You don't look so hot, Adrien. Yeah, well I'm having a bad heart day. His upper lip curled in a semblance of a smile. Tell me about it.
Josh Lanyon