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I know that asshole you were with in college --” “Can we leave that asshole out of it?” Please, gentlemen, one asshole at a time.

Josh Lanyon

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Josh Lanyon
Gentleman
Please
College
Leave
Time
Asshole
Gentlemen

More quotes by Josh Lanyon

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I liked you the first time I saw you. You were sitting on the floor surrounded by books, and you looked up when I opened the door and smiled right at me. It felt like you had been waiting for me, like you were welcoming me home.
Josh Lanyon
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You're kind of a smart ass when you're not flat on your face.
Josh Lanyon
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How did people get over this? They obviously did. Every day someone fell in love with the wrong person and had to pack up all their fragile, misguided hopes and unwanted affection, and move on to the next picnic table.
Josh Lanyon
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You don't look so hot, Adrien. Yeah, well I'm having a bad heart day. His upper lip curled in a semblance of a smile. Tell me about it.
Josh Lanyon
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Then, like a born and bred asshole, he added to the sheriff, He writes murder mysteries.
Josh Lanyon
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Not as intolerable as being dead, in my opinion, but I'm very fond of me. I would miss me a lot.
Josh Lanyon
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He needed fresh air and sunshine. A walk in the woods and afterward a good book to read by the fire. Yeah, that was the life.
Josh Lanyon
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Focus on someone else’s problems for a change, I instructed myself. You need the practice. From now on you’ll have to live in a world you didn’t make up. Horrible thought.
Josh Lanyon
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All cynics are disappointed idealists. The more stars in the eyes, the harder the fall.
Josh Lanyon
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Kevin refilled my plastic cup with more box wine. I smiled thanks. Kevin smiled welcome. Jake kicked my ankle.
Josh Lanyon
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Jake's mouth found mine, his lips molding hot and soft to my own. His tongue tentatively tested the seal of my lips I parted them and he pushed inside. It was startlingly sweet and achingly familiar, like finding harbor.
Josh Lanyon
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Like true philosophers I've come to believe that religion is an illusion of childhood, outgrown after proper education.
Josh Lanyon
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I thought of the words of the Renaissance philosopher Michel de Montaigne. If you press me to say why I loved him, I can say no more than because he was he, and I was I.
Josh Lanyon
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Have I ever told you, you look like Monty Clift? he inquired in a deep, seductive voice. Before or after the accident?
Josh Lanyon
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I’m never wrong? Who besides Republican presidents and evil masterminds can say that with a straight face?
Josh Lanyon
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He was probably selfish in the sack. Probably selfish and greedy and...unsophisticated. And hung like a horse.
Josh Lanyon
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I'm not insane. This is very simple, very straightforward. Provided he doesn't kill me, its foolproof.
Josh Lanyon
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And I thought maybe I didn't need to worry about my heart anymore because it had stopped beating a couple of seconds earlier, and I was still sitting there living and breathing-though admittedly I wasn't feeling much of anything.
Josh Lanyon
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I love you, Jake whispered. Are you strong enough for this? I made myself comfortable. Said over my shoulder, Sure. Would you tell me if you weren't? I grinned. Maybe. I can't think of a nicer way to commit suicide. That's good. I can't think of a more pleasant way to commit murder.
Josh Lanyon
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I’m not going to let go of you. I’m going to hold you all night. So go ahead and feel whatever you feel. If you’re still craving cocaine, go ahead. You’re safe. You can crave it all you want, but I won’t let go, and if you still feel like you can’t trust yourself in the morning, and it’s what you want, I’ll drive you to rehab myself. Okay? ~ Max
Josh Lanyon