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One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Chickens
Garden
Least
Legged
Scratch
Scratches

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Pedigrees seldom improve by age the grandson is too often a weak infringement on the grandsire's parent.
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Poverty is the step-mother of genius.
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As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
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The great art of writing is knowing when to stop.
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It's not ignorance does so much damage it's knowin' so derned much that ain't so.
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To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.
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It is easy to assume a habit but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all.
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About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.
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Zoroaster said, when in doubt abstain but this does not always apply. At cards, when in doubt take the trick.
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Show me a thoroughly contented person, and I will show you a useless one.
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Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
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Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
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I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.
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Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into.
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Early genius, like early cabbage, does not head well.
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Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess.
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There is gravity in wisdom, but no particular wisdom in gravity.
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