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One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Scratch
Scratches
Chickens
Garden
Least
Legged

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To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.
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Human happiness konsists in having what yu want, and wanting what yu have.
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It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
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Metaphysics is the science of proving what we don't understand.
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The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.
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Admiration is a youthful fancy will which scarcely ever survives to mature years.
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I called my cat William because no shorter name fits the dignity of his character. Poor old man, he has fits now, so I call him Fitz-William.
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Dr. Holmes says, both wittily and truly, that crying widows are easiest consoled.
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A learned fool is one who has read everything and simply remembered it.
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Too many individuals are like Shakespeare's definition of echo,--babbling gossips of the air.
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Pride seems tew be quite equally distributed the man who owns the carriage and the man who drives it seem tew have it just alike.
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The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowin' so many things that ain't so.
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Advice is like castor oil — easy enough to give but dreadful hard to take.
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You cannot analyze a kiss any more than you can dissect the fragrance of flowers.
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If a man is right, he can't be too radical if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative.
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