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The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Always
Starch
Quickest
Blaming
Blame
Agree
Someone
Take
Way

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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
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As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them.
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The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.
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The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large.
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Admiration is a youthful fancy will which scarcely ever survives to mature years.
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Ignorance is the wet-nurse of prejudice.
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There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.
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Fashion makes fools of some, sinners of others, and slaves of all.
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Ambition is like hunger it obeys no law but its appetite
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Pedantry is paraded knowledge.
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When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return.
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A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.
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Occasions are rare and those, who know how to seize upon them, are rarer.
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Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does.
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Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.
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Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.
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Peace is the soft and holy shadow that virtue casts.
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Beauty is a very handy thing to have, especially for a woman who ain't handsome.
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Silence is one of the hardest kind of arguments to refute. There is no good substitute for wisdom but silence is the best that has yet been discovered.
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In the whole history of the world there is but one thing that money cannot buy...to wit--the wag of a dog's tail.
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