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Everybody in this world wants watching, but nobody more than ourselves.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Everybody
World
Watching
Nobody
Wants

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Hunting after happiness is like hunting after a lost sheep in the wilderness--when you find it, the chances are that it is a skeleton.
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There's tons of people that spend a lot time watching their well being, they have not acquired time to take pleasure in it.
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If mankind were only just what they pretend to be, the problem of the millennium would be immediately solved.
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When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return.
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Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.
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A witty writer is like a porcupine his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe.
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It is true that wealth won't make a man virtuous, but I notice there ain't anybody who wants to be poor just for the purpose of being good.
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It is easier to be virtuous than it is to appear so, and it pays better.
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Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first.
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Successful writers learn at last what they should learn at first,--to be intelligently simple.
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Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw.
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To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.
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A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided - it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again.
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The man who has never been tempted doesn't know how dishonest he is.
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It ain't no disgrace for a man to fall, but to lie there and grunt is.
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There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.
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Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.
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Man was created a little lower than the angels and has been getting a little lower ever since.
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Poverty is one of them kind of misfortunes that we all of us dread but none of us pity.
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Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
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