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Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Thinking
Husbands
Jealous
Husband
Almost
Think

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Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
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Stupidity,--unconscious ignorance.
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I never knew a man troubled with melancholy, who had plenty to do, and did it.
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Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.
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Opinions should be formed with great caution, and changed with greater.
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The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.
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Keep a cow, and then the milk won't have to be watered but once.
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The highest philosophers, in explaining the mystery of this world, are obliged to call in the aid of another.
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Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
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If men were stubborn just in proportion as they were right, stubbornness would take her seat among the virtues but men are generally stubborn just in proportion as they are ignorant and wrong.
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Experience is a grindstone and it is lucky for us, if we can get brightened by it, and not ground.
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Fuss is half-sister to hurry, and neither of them can do anything without getting in their own way.
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Selfish people, with no heart to speak of, have the best time of it.
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Successful writers learn at last what they should learn at first,--to be intelligently simple.
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I do not know of a better cure for sorrow than to pity somebody else.
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I never question a success, any more than I do the right of a bulldog to lie in his own gateway.
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He whom prosperity humbles, and adversity strengthens, is the true hero.
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I hold that a man has as much right to spell a word as it is pronounced as he has to pronounce it the way it ain't spelled.
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The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.
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