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Menny think tha luv their husbands almost tew deth, when in fack, tha are only jealous ov them.
Josh Billings
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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Think
Thinking
Husbands
Jealous
Husband
Almost
More quotes by Josh Billings
You can reach stupidity only with a cannon ball.
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Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
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Health is like money, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it.
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There are very few good judges of humor, and they don't agree.
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Adversity has the same effect on a man that severe training has on the pugilist: it reduces him to his fighting weight.
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One legged chickens, I know, are the least apt to scratch a garden.
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Woman's influence is powerful, especially when she wants something.
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There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.
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We mingle in society not so much to meet others as to escape ourselves.
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I never knew a man troubled with melancholy, who had plenty to do, and did it.
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Marrying a woman for her money is very much like setting a rat-trap, and baiting it with your own finger.
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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
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Human happiness konsists in having what yu want, and wanting what yu have.
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A man running for office puts me in mind of a dog that's lost-he smells everybody he meets, and wags himself all over.
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Theres not a lot of good humor in medicine, but theres a lot of medicine in good humor.
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When the truth is in your way, you are on the wrong road.
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Poverty is the step-mother of genius.
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The great art of writing is knowing when to stop.
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It is a great deal easier for a man to find a pedigree to fit his virtues than virtues to fit his pedigree.
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The truly innocent are those who not only are guiltless themselves but who think others are.
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