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I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Hypocrisy
Conduct
Bother
Straight
Folks
Trouble
Keep
Regulating
Never
Bothers

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If you would make yourself agreeable wherever you go, listen to the grievances of others but never relate your own.
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Genuine laughing is the vent of the soul, the nostrils of the heart, and just as necessary for health and happiness as spring water is for a trout.
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Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.
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To enjoy a good reputation, give publicly, and steal privately.
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Fun is a sugar-coated physic.
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It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't so.
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Honesty is the rarest wealth anyone can possess.
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The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowin' so many things that ain't so.
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We mingle in society not so much to meet others as to escape ourselves.
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Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend.
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As scarce as truth is, the supply has always been in excess of the demand.
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Never teach your child to be cunning or you may be certain you will be one of the very first victims of his shrewdness.
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The more humble a man is before God the more he will be exalted the more humble he is before man, the more he will get rode roughshod.
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I never knew a man troubled with melancholy, who had plenty to do, and did it.
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