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I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Conduct
Bother
Straight
Folks
Trouble
Keep
Regulating
Never
Bothers
Hypocrisy

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People travel to learn most of them before they start should learn to travel.
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It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.
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The happiest time in any man's life is when he is in red-hot pursuit of a dollar with a reasonable prospect of overtaking it.
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The highest philosophers, in explaining the mystery of this world, are obliged to call in the aid of another.
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There is only one good substitute for the endearments of a sister, and that is the endearments of some other fellow's sister.
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If you would make yourself agreeable wherever you go, listen to the grievances of others but never relate your own.
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A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.
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Rumor is like bees the more you fight them the more you don't get rid of them.
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The very thing that men think they have got the most of, they have got the least of and that is judgment.
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A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates.
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A good reliable set of bowels is worth more to a man than any quantity of brains.
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Rumor is a vagrant without a home, and lives upon what it can pick up.
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Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
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When the truth is in your way, you are on the wrong road.
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Vanity is a strange passion rather than be out of a job it will brag of its vices.
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Ignorance ain't not knowin' stuff ignorance is knowin' stuff that AIN'T TRUE.
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There never yet was a mother who taught her child to be an infidel.
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It ain't often that a man's reputation outlasts his money.
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