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I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.

Josh Billings

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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Conduct
Bother
Straight
Folks
Trouble
Keep
Regulating
Never
Bothers
Hypocrisy

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Successful writers learn at last what they should learn at first,--to be intelligently simple.
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The trouble with most folks isn't their ignorance. It's knowin' so many things that ain't so.
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Fashion makes fools of some, sinners of others, and slaves of all.
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Never teach your child to be cunning or you may be certain you will be one of the very first victims of his shrewdness.
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Admiration is a youthful fancy will which scarcely ever survives to mature years.
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Show me a thoroughly contented person, and I will show you a useless one.
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Seneca devoted much of his time to writing essays in praise of poverty, and in lending money at usurious rates.
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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
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Politeness is better than logic. You can often persuade when you cannot convince.
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The unfortunate do not pity the unfortunate.
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It AIN'T so much the things we don't know that get us into trouble. It's the things we know that just ain't so.
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Dr. Holmes says, both wittily and truly, that crying widows are easiest consoled.
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[Science is] the literature of truth.
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