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I don't never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks' straight is what bothers me.
Josh Billings
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Josh Billings
Age: 67 †
Born: 1818
Born: April 21
Died: 1885
Died: October 14
Humorist
Writer
Lanesboro
Massachusetts
Henry Wheeler Shaw
Bother
Straight
Folks
Trouble
Keep
Regulating
Never
Bothers
Hypocrisy
Conduct
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A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay.
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Shame is the dying embers of virtue.
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Nature makes all the noblemen wealth, education, or pedigree never made one yet.
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Admiration is a youthful fancy will which scarcely ever survives to mature years.
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The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust.
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If a man is right, he can't be too radical if he is wrong, he can't be too conservative.
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Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal.
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Self-made men are most always apt to be a little too proud of the job.
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Habits are like the wrinkles on a man's brow if you will smooth out the one, I will smooth out the other.
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There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply.
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When good-natured people leave us we look forward with extra pleasure to their return.
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True valor is like honesty it enters into all that a man sees and does.
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It is a great deal easier for a man to find a pedigree to fit his virtues than virtues to fit his pedigree.
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The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear.
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Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
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It is easy to assume a habit but when you try to cast it off, it will take skin and all.
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I never knew a man troubled with melancholy, who had plenty to do, and did it.
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Lying is like trying to hide in a fog: If you move about you're in danger of bumping your head against the truth, and as soon as the fog blows off, you are gone anyhow.
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Building air castles is a harmless business as long as you don't attempt to live in them.
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